Kenneth Koch - Some General Instructions

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The problem of being good an also what one whishes

is not as difficult as it seems. It is, however,

Best to get embarked early on one's dearest desires.

Be attentive to your dreams. They are usually about sex,

But they deal with other things as well in an indirect fashion

And contain information that you should have.

You should also read poetry. Do not eat too many bananas.

In the srpingtime, plant. In the autumn, harvest.

In the summer and winter, exercise. Do not put

Your finger inside a clam shell or

It may be snapped off by the living clam. Do not wear a shirt

More than two times without sending it to the laundry.

Be a bee fancier only if you have a face net. Avoid flies,

Hornets and wasps. Clasp other people's hands firmly

When you are introduced to them. Say "I am glad to meet you!"

Be able to make a mouth and cheeks like a fish. It

Is entertaining. Speaking in accents

Can also entertain people. But do not think

mainly of being entertaining. Think of your death.

Think of the death of the fish you just imitated. Be artistic, and be unfamiliar

Think of the blue sky, how artists have

Imitated it. Think of your secretest thoughts,

How poets have imitated them. Think of what you feel

Secretly, and how music has imitated that. Make a moue.

Get faucets for every water outlet in your

House. You may like to spend some summers on

An island. Buy woolen material in Scotland and have

The cloth cut in London, lapels made in France.

Become religious when you are tired of everything

Else. As a little old man or woman, die

In a fine and original spirit that is yours alone.

When you are dead, waste, and make room for the future.

Do not make tea from water which is already boiling.

Use the water just as it starts to boil. Otherwise

It will not successfully "draw" it. Byron

Wrote that no man under thirthy should ever see

An ugly woman, suggesting desire should be so strong

It affected the princeliest of senses; and Schopenhauer

Suggested the elimination of the human species

As the way to escape from the Will, which he saw as monstrous

Demon-like force which destroys us. When

Pleasure is mild, you should enjoy it, as far as

You can, to enjoy you. Pain should be

Dealt with as efficiently as possible. To "cure" a dead octopus

You hold it by one leg and bang it against a rock.

This makes a noise heard all around the harbor.

But it is necessary, for otherwise the meat would be too tough.

Fowl are best plucked by humans, but machines

Are more humanitarian, since extended chicken

Plucking is an unpleasant job. Do not eat unwashed beets

Or rare pork, nor should you gobble uncooked dough.

Fruits, vegetables, and cheese make an excellent diet.

You should understand some science. Electricity

Is fascinating. Do not be defeated by the

Feeling that there is too much for you to know. That

Is the myth of the oppressor. You are

Capable of understanding life. And it is yours alone

And only this time. Someone who excites you

Should be told so, and loved, if you can, but no one

Should be able to shake you so much that you wish to

Give up. The sensations you feel are caused by outside

Phenomena and inside impulses. Whatever you

Experience is both "a person out there" and a dream

As well as unwashed electrons. It is your task to see this through

To a conclusion that makes sense to all concerned

And that reflects credit on this poem, your species, and yourself.

Now go. You cannot come back until these lessons are learned

And you can show that you have learned them for yourself.